Sophic Wellness

Societies unconscious urge to blame a victim of violent crime for the crimes against them.

Author: ANge Christopoulos: Trauma Recovery Specialst.

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The Motivation of This Piece

I was inspired to write about this topic after being attacked on social media by internet trolls who pretend to be stable members of society, one being a dog food disttributor and claiming to be an advocate of pet health and community support.

Not only was I personally attacked by three members of the group, but two of them became extremely abusive when confronted about their reaction to being shown what they were doing. I was astounded…

This experience underscored for me, the urgent need to address how society’s conditioned responses to victims experience faced with violent crime and lack of support from, family, peers, and communmity can amplify their suffering and delay their healing expidencially.

The Impact on Victims

Victim blaming and shaming can profoundly affect a victim’s mental, emotional, and social well-being. Here are some key ways it causes harm:

1. Erosion of Self-Worth:
   • Victims who are blamed or shamed always internalize these messages, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame. This erodes their self-esteem and hinders their ability to move forward, heal and recover.
2. Isolation from Community:
   • When victims are met with blame or shaming, they feel intensly alienated, rejected and unsupported. This isolation distances them from the community and support systems that are vital for their recovery, healing and connection to the support they need.
3. Increased Trauma:
   • Victim blaming and shaming exacerbates the trauma by invalidating the victim’s experiences and minimizing their pain. This leads to long-term psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and intensifies post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that ovewhelmingly evolves into complex post traumatic stress disorder, Obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, panick attacks.
4. Barrier to Justice:
   • Blaming and shaming in the majority, discourages victims from reporting crimes or seeking justice, as they fear judgment or further victimization.

How Society Has Been Conditioned to Blame Victims

Modern society has normalized victim blaming and shaming to the extent that it often manifests as a knee-jerk reaction. This conditioning arises from:

• Cultural Narratives: Persistent myths, such as “they were asking for it” or “they should have known better,” reinforce the notion that victims are responsible for the crimes committed against them.
• Media Portrayals: Sensationalized media coverage often scrutinizes victims’ actions, appearance, or character, shifting focus away from the perpetrators as a result the perpetrator will often get away with their crimes.
• Fear and Denial: Blaming victims is a defense mechanism to distance oneself from the possibility of similar vulnerability.

Examples of Victim Blaming and Shaming

• Blaming: “Why were they walking alone at night?” or “Why didn’t they leave the abusive relationship sooner?” or “Why did you stop the car”
• Shaming: “What were they wearing?” or “They must have provoked it.”

These statements not only diminish the responsibility of the perpetrator but also invalidate the victim’s experience.

Compassionate and Supportive Alternatives

Instead of blame or shame, use compassionate and supportive language that validates the victim’s feelings and experience. Examples include:

• “I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s not your fault.”
• “You’re incredibly brave for sharing this. How can I support you?”
• “What happened to you was wrong, and you didn’t deserve it.”

These affirmations show empathy, validate the victim’s feelings, and reassure them that they are not alone.

The Solution: Fostering Conscious Responses

Addressing the prevalence of victim blaming and shaming requires a collective effort to shift societal attitudes. Here’s how we can make a difference:

1. Raise Awareness:
   • Educate communities about the impact of victim blaming and shaming through workshops, campaigns, and social media.
2. Challenge Cultural Norms:
   • Actively question and counter myths and stereotypes that perpetuate blame and shame.
3. Practice Empathy:
   • Before responding to a victim, pause and consider how your words may affect their recovery.
4. Support Victims Actively:
   • Offer tangible support, such as accompanying them to appointments, connecting them with resources, or simply listening without judgment.
5. Advocate for Change:
   • Support policies and initiatives that hold perpetrators accountable and provide robust support systems for victims.

Building a Supportive Community

Creating a compassionate society starts with individual accountability. By being mindful of our responses and choosing empathy over judgment, we can help victims feel seen, heard, and supported. A community that embraces victims with compassion fosters healing and resilience, paving the way for a safer and more understanding society.

Together, let’s reject victim blaming and shaming and commit to being allies in the recovery and empowerment of all victims of crime.